Pain Leaving.

I took a few stairs,
and turned to watch you close that door,
your gaze lingered and your eyes caught mine.
I felt the soul tear out of me.

I cannot believe it has been so long and that I survived.
That I now find my heart mending.
That you are slowly drifting away from my thoughts.
You are just a memory now, a little saddening,
but needed as just that.
So that I may give myself to him now.

He is not a replacement of what we had.
No, that could never be done.
Beauty needs no reason to exist,
I am just thankful to have had it at all.

I have loved and lost, but I always know I will love again.
Slowly I feel life falling into place,
one day I will know completely that I am there.
I hold his hand as he looks at me,
knowing that this moment and what I feel, is everything to me.
This moment has existed all my life, and I am finally here.

In different ways, my past runs through my veins,
sometimes I wish it wasn't so;
but the tragedies, like the grandeur brings all the future to me.
Without them I can go nowhere ahead.

So I take his hand and bring it to my heart,
these moments made ours are such blessed things.
I love him and all that he is and brings into my life.
You, running through me are aware of this,
I feel your burn fade and begin to let go of your hold on me,
and I embrace that freedom, for he is now my love.

This Feeling.

This is different... the way I feel right now.
This thing pouring through my vains, pumped from heart.
For so long I'd kept my heart pulled out of me,
and now I find it beats in me, scars forming over the wound.
I am in shock that I can feel this way.

You are not always around the way I feel I need you,
But you are a part of me I didn't know.
A part that sears my skin and plays with my soul.
I open to you in ways I cannot explain,
you are that element I needed to bring me to life.

I know I will lay down in a bit,
fall into a deep sleep and find you there with me
Insomnia haunting me now as it did in my past,
it slowly breaks away, leaving me dreaming once more.
How liberating it is to find you there even when you aren't.

This feeling.....
I don't know what it is;
but I know I have searched for it for so long.
At last I can spread my words across white sheets,
staining them with the beauty you bring to me.